Sunday, 20 January 2013

Let me live.

I will never regret loving you who will never be mine. The only thing that I might regret is that I am not good enough. My good is not good enough. I might not be able to love someone else as I love you and I don't expect I will. It's okay. I just want to live.

Wednesday, 5 December 2012

mirror: marriage vs love

mirror: marriage vs love: 'Umar (ra) said to a man who was going to divorce hos wife, "Why do you want to divorce her?" "I do not love her," said he. To this, 'Umar r...

Wednesday, 26 October 2011

After a Long Time ..

Hello readers. How's life treating you? I apologise for not updating my blog in a very long time due to my busy schedule as an educator (yeah right!). I promise you to update it soon, but in the meantime let me update you on what's been going on.

1) Post-practicum activities: Apparently, my college has been very kind to organize activities to keep us 'occupied' until the joint-board meeting takes place somewhere in November. Those activities include: 

Outreach project in SK Taman Megah, PJ: Basically we were helping out the school in conducting the English Week/Day. We had to prepare some English games for the Year 2, 3, 4 and 5 kids. My partner, Jemi and I chose to carry out two games which were:

 Day 1: Word Chain (Year 2 and Year 3) 
 Day 2: Be a Decipherer (Year 4 and Year 5) 

Photo Credit: Farouk Harun
 Photo Credit: Farouk Harun

Yes, those little kids were quite a handful! Haha..Anyway, I was very grateful because those two days in SK Taman Megah made me realize that being primary school teachers is not as easy as I thought it would be. Kudos to all primary teachers around the world. :)

Coaching and Officiating Course for Cricket: Last week, I got the chance to play cricket for the very first time in my life. As someone who is not athletically-gifted, I was quite sceptical of it at the beginning. However, after doing some batting, bowling, fielding and catching, I found myself actually enjoying the sports in spite of the hot sun and staring daylight. The bruises and marks on my legs were certainly enough to prove that I was having way too much fun on the field XD. And of course, I will never forget some funny stuff I did while playing cricket like catching the ball when I was not supposed to (that was very embarrassing!), rolling on the field just to catch a simple and slow ball (when I said 'rolling', I really mean 'rolling' ;p) and a few other things which re-affirm the fact that I cannot be a sportswoman! 


many more to come after the one week break..

2. Watching Charmed 

One of my favourite series of all time. 

3. Playing The Sims Social and BabyMaker on Facebook. What? BabyMaker?!! Call me childish or whatever, I don't care! It's my way of relaxing and believe me, playing these games does not make me or other people of my age, any less mature :)

4. Studying for KISSM. I thought I would be a free woman after I completed my 3-months practicum but nope, I still have two assignments to complete as well as an exam to study for. Undeniably, this has been by far my most difficult and busiest semester but hopefully I can laugh at it all in the end. I cannot express how much I am looking forward to starting a new chapter in my life. I know that I am going to miss my student's life but honestly, it is about time to break free. 

Well, I guess that's it for now. I promise I will do a proper blog post soon! Things that I want to blog about:

1. My students (or should I say ex-students??) in SMKTD
2. My favourite moments as a student in high school
3. Bye bye student's life 

So, stay tuned for my new blog posts. Take care :)

P/S: Happy Deepavali to all Hindus, Sikhs and Jains :) 

Sunday, 31 July 2011

Ramadhan: Here and There

Ramadhan Al-Mubarak is just at the doorstep. The month of blessings and forgiveness. The month of soul searching and reflections. The month of training and upgrading.
Somehow, this Ramadhan seems a little bit different than last year. I always look forward for this holy month because it is going to be my first Ramadhan in Malaysia after two years celebrating it in Sydney. Well, fasting in a foreign country, where the majority are non-Muslims, was an experience that not everyone will have. Walking in a public where everyone else but you was eating and drinking  was quite challenging. However, I kept on telling myself that I am just fasting, I am not starving myself to the point that I can’t control myself when food is around me. Besides, the fact that the Ramadhan was during winter-spring made our fasting days even 'easier' because the length of daylight was shorter and the humidity was lower so we did not feel that thirsty or tired that much. 
Alhamdulillah, now that I'm back,  I hope this year's Ramadhan will bring more meaningful and joyful experience to me as a young Muslim female since I will be surrounded by so many other Muslims and together, in the true spirit of Ramadhan, we seek for Allah's forgiveness and blessing.  InsyaAllah, during this Ramadhan,  I will get to hear the things that I missed very much when I was in oversea - the calls from the mosques around my hostel/house and the spiritual atmosphere that we can feel all around. The fact that I am going to bersahur and berbuka puasa with my beloved family and friends makes me even happier. 
In addition, tomorrow will be the first Ramadhan for me as a school teacher. I have to add 'teaching two Form Four classes' as one of the regular activities for this year's Ramadhan. As Ramadan is seen as an opportunity to improve oneself, spiritually and personally,  I hope that this Ramadhan will teach me to be more grateful for all the little things that I have in my life. I also want to be even more patient and enthusiastic in teaching and dealing with my students. InsyaAllah :)
Last but not least, I want to wish all the Muslims around the world a very happy Ramadhan Al-Mubarak. May this Ramadhan bring us the utmost in peace and prosperity. Amin :)
P/S: Happy fasting, not feasting. 

Monday, 11 July 2011

A Reality Check on Teacher

Today has marked the third week of my teaching as a student teacher. I imagined this day ever since I signed up for this course. I used to break into a sweat just thinking about having students staring at me while teaching. The course has gone very smoothly up till this point and I have come a long way in building confidence over the last 5 years. Yup, it was a very long journey!

For the past two weeks, I realized that it was not easy to be a teacher. Preparing the lesson plans for two classes was the greatest challenge given my time constraints of only having 24 hours per day to work with. Having to deal with students who were defended and closed off to learning made it even more difficult. 

For the past two weeks, I have seen my friends working very hard to prepare their lesson plans. I have seen them rushing here and there to get their notes and worksheets for the next lesson photocopied. All this made me wonder! If only the students could see all the efforts put in by their school teachers. If only the teachers room was made up of glass wall which allowed students to see what their teachers were doing for them. If only...

For the past two weeks, I have learnt that we only truly understand things when we have the opportunity to experience them ourselves. Therefore, some people might be right: A student can never understand the work of a teacher. 

All the best, teachers. 

Saturday, 9 July 2011

A Loyalty Oath

We should thank the police to control the situation. They are someone's fathers, grandfathers, brothers, husbands who were willing to put their personal agenda aside and even risking their life for protecting, not only those who were joining the rallies, but also the nation as a whole. We have to bear in mind that, the rakyat was not only them, who were participating in the rallies. There were millions others who chose to stay home and showed their love and support for Malaysia in different ways, who were counting on the men-in-uniform, to ensure peace and safety in this country.

By all means, I do not want to blame them for joining the rallies. It's their right. It's their way of showing their beliefs. As a Malaysian, I also want the best for the country. I also want corruptions, nepotism,cronyism, and mismanagement of state’s fund to be eradicated. We blame the rich and the top guns for allowing this to happen. Many wish for the election to be fairer and more transparent but yet many fail to fulfill their responsibility to map out the country's future. If we want stability and safety and real prosperity, we want a strong, educated middle class. We need strong middle class that votes! Because if we don’t vote, then elections can be bought by the highest bidder. If we don’t vote, we won’t be represented in government. Whether or not this demonstration will result in a change of government, I just pray for the best. And I hope those 20, 000 people or maybe more, who came out today to join the rally will be the same person who will be lining up to cast their votes in the next election. And if this demonstration was really about making Malaysia a better place to live in, then I hope the very same people will stand up together singing the National Anthem and pledge their loyalty to the country, not just the party. :) 

Monday, 27 June 2011

The Day I Became a Teacher.

Today was my first official day as a practicum student in SMK Taman Desa, KL. Nothing much had been done today.

As soon as we arrived, we met the Senior Assistant Teacher, Miss Nur Elisa Tee, who talked to us for a while and later introduced us to the teachers and students during the assembly. 

After the assembly ended, we had our briefing with Miss Nur Elisa Tee, who I found very welcoming and approachable.  She shared a lot of things which were very relevant and useful to our development as teacher trainees. Then, we met Miss Michelle Liew, the Head of English Panel.  Just like Miss Tee, she was very nice and helpful. She told us that an effective teaching should be clear, inspiring and dynamic, with a balance between firmness and fun. She also reminded us to be careful not to get so friendly with the students or else, they will 'eat' us up (well, not literally)! I’ll remember that! In the afternoon, we attended my first teacher meeting. It was interesting. Yes, interesting. We were quite sleepy though. Hehe..

I was assigned to Form 4K2 and Form 4K5 English. Well, originally I was given Form 4K2 and Form 4K4. However, when I went to see Mr. Teh Wee Liang, the English teacher (who was also my super2 senior from Cohort 1) for Form 4K4 to find out what topics he had already taught, where we should pick up and other stuff related to the class, he was very surprised you know! He said, 'No, no...You can't teach this class. I'll go talk to Mrs. Lau'. Of course I was very curious and worried. He then explained to me that Form 4K4 was a problematic class. They were like the students of 3D Class in Gokusen or the students of Room 203 in the Freedom Writers. So, he said he won't let me take the class because he knew that the students would definitely 'attack' and 'challenge' me and there's no way that I could handle them. Sounds scary, right? 

The funny thing was, I wanted to say 'Please give me the class. Who knows I can be that teacher who can inspire them to change?''. HAHAHA..ya, I know what you would say about that. I sounded too ambitious and poyo! Haha..maybe I watched too many movies/series such as Gokusen, Great Teacher Onitsuka,  Freedom Writers, and many other and therefore I believed I would have ways to handle those students. 

But of course it did not happen. Like I said previously, I was given Form 4K2 and From 4K5 English class. Form 4K5 was the last class out of 7 classes. The level of proficiency was quite low, but discipline-wise, it was better than Form 4K4. That's what Mr. Teh told me. 

Anyway, I should be grateful for getting both classes. It was their destiny to be my first group of students and it was their future which I should be responsible to for the next couple of months. Through this practicum, I hope to gain firsthand experience with all the aspects that must come together in order to for me to be a great teacher for the next forty years. Insya-Allah :)